so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
