the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
