Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize