Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You're like the curious george of whores
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
