are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it's like iHOP with fire
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize