I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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