remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize