We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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