Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
