We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
