Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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