If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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