I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
