I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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