Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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