Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
