don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
