Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
