Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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