Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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