The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
