its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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