Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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