Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
