I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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