Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
