We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
