What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
