You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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