you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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