I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize