What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
