Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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