I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
