I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
