oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
