And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
