i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
