we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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