if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
