Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
