did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
