nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
