So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
