My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
