love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
