Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
