I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
