Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
