My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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