a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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