Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
