So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
