it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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