Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
