would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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