Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
