I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
