I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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