I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
