Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
