so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
