remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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