U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just pee around me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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