After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
