I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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