Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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