she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
