is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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