your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
