im about as happy as oj after his trial
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
