She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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